I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
