how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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