One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
