Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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