I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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