oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize