Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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