Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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