It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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