I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
