What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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