Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
