My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
