the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
