mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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