I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
