glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
