I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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