You really coming over, don't trick.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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