I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
