Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize