i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
