New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
