Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
