sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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