I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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