I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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