I didn't shave. On purpose
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
