Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
