We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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