Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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