Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
