he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
