I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
it was like eating out sand paper
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
