at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
