You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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