Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
