I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
