i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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