you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
