Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
