he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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