seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
