Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
