btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
