I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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