White coat. Heels.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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