ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
