I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
