Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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