Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize