Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
