I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Can I color on your dick again?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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