he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
