I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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