I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
