i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize