is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
