remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
