We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
