I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
