Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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