I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
